Update

Since July 9, 2002 when Sarah was placed in our arms for the first time, my perspective on adoption has changed a lot. I feel so sorry for the birth mother who feels she is without option. She must give her baby to total strangers and trust that those strangers will give her child the love and comfort that so often is missing in her own life. It is so easy to pass judgement--- to say, "I would never do that!"

Sarah was bouncing up and down, giggling, and chewing on her teething ring. It was just an ordinary day, she didn't know what we were doing in that office. Bernard and I had not been able to sleep all night.  Last week Sarah and I drove into the capital and waited in the same office, but Claudia (Sarah's birth mom cancelled the test at the last minute-a problem with her new boyfriend). Would she come this week or not?  This DNA test is required for the adoption to be final.

I sat watching as each birth mother came into the room. Some were so young. I watched as women carrying babies entered the room (court appointed guardians of the babies) and with them the future mothers. Then,  there were the tramitadores (the people with the legal paperwork representing the lawyer of the adoptive parents).  Some had papers for two or three babies. They seemed so indifferent to the situation. I couldn't help but notice the far away look on each young girl's face. Each one had a different story.  I imagined one said, "I have been on the streets since I was 6 years old. I sleep with many men, this is my third visit to this office. They gave me Q500 ($69) for each baby. I'm not a bad girl, but I need the money.  I can't take care of myself, let alone a baby." Maybe another one said, "I need money for drugs, besides I can have lots more babies whenever I want too."   Still another said, " My parents forced me to give my baby away, they are so ashamed of me." It seemed I could hear the heart of each one cry out.  I could feel the dynamics---the anxiety of each adoptive mother, wondering if the adoption would ever be final and the pain of the birth mother, feeling trapped into a decision that she would regret for a lifetime. I could not handle looking at the young girl's faces.  How long would we have to wait for this to be over?

Finally, our lawyer came with our legal papers and we went in for the test. Two polaroid shots of Sarah full face, one side view, right thumb print, then two swabs twisted on each side of her check to get saliva and dead tissue. Sarah giggled, she thought it was a new game. I signed the photos, the papers and paid the $700 for the test to be sent FedEx to Fairfax, Va. Then, our lawyer called Bernard and said that he could bring Sarah's mom for her portion of the test. You see, Claudia doesn't want to see Sarah. She decided to give Sarah to a Christian couple to raise. She did not receive a penny for her baby. A special kind of selfless love.

Later, that day as I began to get that (homesick, it's nearly Christmas and I wish I were in the States with the children right now feeling) I once again saw that room filled with young girls, who will never spend the holidays with their children. I am blessed. I thank God for trusting us with Sarah's life and I thank Him for each member of our family from Mom (Grandma) Snyder to Alexander, our first great grandchild. What a blessed year this has been! I miss you all---May 2003 be everything you would dream it could be!    Trish.